One of Those Days.

We've all had 'one of those days.' I proudly say today was one of them. A thousand things consuming my mind - and at one point even turned into a physical ache in my brain. So I did what I didn't have time for, but should do more often. I took a walk. I packed the ipod buds in my ears, turned it to some instrumental ancient hymns, and walked across the street to my God space. I walked. And honestly, I cried. For seven days I've leaned in on this notion of seeking God and what that means. As I walked I cried because I really do feel like I'm seeking and yet I still feel very much 'overwhelmed.' So is that good? Or bad? From God? or Not? 

I'm not a guy who believes God is just always out to 'teach us something.' I know people say that a lot, but I think we do stupid stuff and then God uses that stupid thing to teach us, but he doesn't initiate our stupidity. He doesn't trip us so we learn to get up again.  He just helps us back up. The past couple of days I have been memorizing some Bible texts...training myself to let them become a part of my rhythm in life. They are all centered on the notion of 'seeking' God. And there are always dichotomy's in that. We seek Him and yet He's already found us. We seek Him and yet He's already there. God asks us to seek Him with a 'whole' heart. He says if we seek Him with all our heart, He will be found by us. So I asked the question, what's the measure He uses? Certainly there's not a scale of 'seeking.'

I've read all the verses on seeking God. And I know that there is something about this call of God that is an all or nothing deal. There is a direct corrolation between our focus and His being seen. Seeing God doesn't happen on accident. Something happens that initiates our attention to seek. The truth is, I can't seek at all. It's God's Spirit in me that initiates the desire inside me. So listen to this crazy thought...God requires that we seek Him...and He even has to be the one that initiates us seeking Him...and ultimately it's His Spirit in us that allows us to see Him when we seek Him! I know. That's enough to make your head hurt.

So anyway, I'm walking. I'm crying. It's still cold out...like 20 degrees so my snot is running like a faucet and I'm trying to wipe my nose, clear my eyes, and think straight. I'm talking out loud. God. I'm hurting here. I'm seeking you. I'm tired of thinking of all this stuff around me. I just want to see You. I want to know You are still right here with me...in me. Straight up - just you and me here. I want to know the mountain I'm climbing is by You, of You, and in You. God I don't want to see a sign or some mystic cloud formation. I want You.

In those steps I kept hearing a chirp and I was wondering what happened to my ipod that how it sounded like a chirp or a skip in the song. Suddenly my head was about taken off by a bird. Through my tear covered eyes I watched a bright red cardinal perch on a branch about 3' foot above my head. I stopped and looked up. Beautiful. Bright. And immediately God spoke (not verbally so don't get wierded out); 'Andy. I care about the birds of the air. I know when one of their feathers is out of place. If I care and created the beauty of this little bird, how much more do I walk with you. I'm for you. I'm here.'

I stared at that bird for another minute as I cried. How long does a cardinal usually sit on a branch 3' away from a crying human and play stare down? Not usually this long. And then as quickly as he flew in, he flew away.

And  for an hour I walked. And I cried. And I talked.
But mostly I listened.

Perspective.

"Keep things in perspective." I'm sure you've heard it said to you before. But we all know it's easier said than done. This morning I drug my carcass out of bed at 3:15 am and hit the road to grab the Hummer Limo. From there I drove in some nasty, snowy weather to a pitiful home in Benton Harbor. It was plastered with 'Beware of Dog' signs and sat in an area that's frequently on the news for all the wrong reasons. The only thing that made me feel safe was that it was so early and there weren't any humans stirring about.

After waiting for a while, out came the mom along with 4 children probably in the 5-10 year old range. I was picking up a family to take them to the South Bend airport. You could tell that they had never seen the inside of a limo before and once they learned they could lower the partition between me and them they sat in a little row watching me drive. I tell you this because today was one of those days where God had me step back and look at my life in perspective.

One of the children is a 9 year old boy. They were headed to Disney World in Orlando Florida. Not one of them had ever been on an airplane, including the mom. They were headed there because of the generosity of an amazing program called 'Make a Wish Foundation.' I picked up a young boy who is in his 'last days.' Perspective. Can you imagine the single mom's emotions? Can you imagine knowing one of your children is entering the last phase of their life? Can you imagine the little boy and all the hours he's had to spend in the hosptial - all to find out that there is no cure? Maybe he doesn't even know it? Maybe he does? Can you imagine the confusion for his siblings? I wonder what their perspective of God is? I wonder if it matters to them where they live or what they eat?
I could obviously go on, but all I really wanted to do was step back - and consider the things of this world, and the things I value in this life.
We all have days where our perspective is challenged. Today was one for me.
Perspective.

Advocate.

This church is being formed by the Master potter's hands. We are all such raw material - our stories colliding with hope. It's amazing how relationships form so deep and rich, yet quick, when you commune transparently. God's vision in me was no doubt to be a part of creating a community where your story matters. Sometimes chapters are glorious. Sometimes they are ugly. But I am my story. You are your story. It sounds peculiar to say that humility and honesty cuts through a multitude of sins, but it seems that is the way of Christ. As a 'leader' I've sensed that my effectiveness is how well I can push myself back and let the God of mercy, grace, and love take the stage. The more unseen I become the more I can let Him be magnified. Tonight as we gathered in a dimly lit living room the conversation began to flow - and the Spirit of God led the dance. It centered around 'advocates.' How are friends different than advocates? The more we dove in the more we recognized how different they really are. An advocate is with you no matter what. It was said that 'an advocate is there for you just because of truth - compassion for the person as an element of God's created humanity. With an advocate there isn't always a two way relationship. It's not about what you can get from the person...the relationship of an advocate is between him/her and the cause (what's intrinsically right), no matter who the person is. A friendship is more a two way relationship, give and take. A friend isn't always an advocate, and an advocate can be a stranger. What are the qualities of an advocate? Do we have advocates in our life? Ironically we could name some, but the number is fewer than we might suspect. An advocate doesn't focus on what you've done, but on who you are. Do you have 'friends' you can't tell everything? I had to take a breath for a minute when one of us said; 'I've just met most of you people three weeks ago, and this is the only genuine group of advocates I have.' So what's your story?

I sense everyone in the room tonight wept at God's call in our life as we are part the vision of God in our lives to create a community of advocates for people we know, and those we don't know. As the naked prostitute was dragged to Jesus for 'justice of her crime', Jesus was her advocate. The kosher law said one thing, Jesus responded in love, compassion, and the 'right' way to broken humanity. He never had met her in his life. Yet he was her advocate. We are a community of imperfect people who offer hope. As we looked at each other around the room we confessed we need advocates. And if there are only a few advocates in our lives, isn't that probably the case for others? It may not be popular. It will cost us something. But we know this - God has called us to value this - to pursue this - and we are. It's special. God's presence was so rich tonight. And I know that I have a few more advocates in my life...and they...theirs.
Creating a community where your story matters...no matter what. You matter to God, and to us.

Giving Yourself Over To Something Greater Than You Are

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine was talking about King David and the concept of personal sacrifice. Sacrifice is a sensitive subject. But Greg paraphrased something about David's heart. He said; 'I will not sacrifice anything that doesn't cost me something.' It made me squirm a little bit. To think that my giving in any way may not even be what a sacrifice is, is awkward. You mean when I give something I don't want or need anymore away - it's not sacrificial? Yeah, I guess that is what it means. It's a good and noble quality to give anything, but it falls short of what I'd call sacrificial. And it makes me question how well I actually sacrifice in my personal life. I feel like my family is quite giving, sometimes it really does hurt. But I have to confess, most of my giving is not on the 'sacrificial' wavelength.

That is true with my money and my things, but it's also true with my time. The things that Andy needs to get done is unending. There's just not enough time in a day. It makes it hard to 'serve' or 'help' when there's so much and so little time. But I've been challenged by God this week. He put a thought inside me, and that same thought was then was randomly brought up in conversation about 10 minutes later by someone else. The EXACT same thing. So the question on my plate today is...Andy, are you willing to sacrifice? Not just give, but sacrifice? Something that will cost you something?

I have to be able to feel it. It's going to hurt. It's going to cost me something. 

Energy Creates Energy

There are things that zap your energy and excitement and then there are things that are physical, emotional, and spiritual steroids. They say it takes energy to create energy - and that's what the Suncrest people do for me. The top pic is (L-R) Greg, Me, Doug, and Jared. We walk as one into the next phase of our journey. It is going to require great risk, adjustments, sacrifice, trust, prayer, and communion with God...but we are already hearing stories of how God is intersecting our story with people's stories...and ultimately to God's story.
Tuesday and Wednesday we spent in Dallas TX as a part of Leadership Network's multi-site lab. The bottom pic represents a group of churches around the country. This next year we will continue to walk through this together allowing God to sharpen all of us in learning and adjustments. I'm blessed in so many ways and I walked away even more encouraged with the multi-site movement. I know how I'm wired, and of all the diverse strategies of Kingdom building and walking with people through life change, I can see how God has had me in a season of 'waiting' for such a time as this. No doubt that doing this movement of God is best done in community. Aloneness is not an option. Never was, never will be. I'm thankful. Truly thankful. How great is our God.

(Re-Posted from greglee.wordpress.com)

I took three of our staff to Dallas this week to meet with multi-site leaders from around the country. It’s no secret that our multi-site strategy is going to ramp up here in the coming months with plans to launch 2 more campuses this fall.


I still can’t believe we get to be included in some of these leadership circles, but it makes me especially thankful for Leadership Network and the focus of their role with the Churches across America (and now, worldwide). Their simple purpose is to “connect innovators to multiply”.

I’ve benefited so much from them individually and now our team is fortunate to be surrounded with churches in the trenches tackling the same initiatives AND have the best thinkers in the multi-site movement in the room with us. Special thanks to Greg Ligon from Leadership Network, Mac Lake from Seacoast Church and Kevin Penry from LifeChurch for letting us soak up everything you have to offer.

"God is in the NEW' ~ Greg Lee

"The vigorous, continual planting of new congregations is the single most crucial strategy for the numerical growth of the Body of Christ, the renewal of existing churches, and the overall impact of that Body on the culture of any city.

Nothing else—neither crusades, outreach programs, para-church ministries, mega-churches, consulting, nor church renewal processes— will have the consistent impact that dynamic, extensive church planting has. This is an eyebrow raising statement, I know. But to those who have done any study of the subject, it is not even controversial."
Tim Keller

Martin Luther King Jr.

Today honors the leader whom God's Spirit burned within. He had a burden to speak of God's truth knowing the cost he would ultimately pay. He said; "A man who won't die for something is not fit to live." As I have read his story today I seem to capture his heart in ways I never have. I'm not sure what your definition of a hero is, but there is no doubt that he fits mine. I think humanity could learn a lesson from him. I know this because he was a guy who was convicted. He was burdened. And He did something about it. There are dreamers. There are leaders. It seems that few actually have the faith and courage to put the two together. He did. And not only ought African Americans or anyone with non-white skin be grateful, so too should the whitest skinned amoung us. Humanity should be grateful. Why? This man was led by the Spirit of God. As I reflect on what he stood for, and what was important to God, I'm convinced that he couldn't have stood for anything of greater worth. The truth that we are all created in the image of God...and where our beauty is in our creative diversity. I'm certain that there is nothing more beautiful to God than when we as humanity love one another - especially in our differences.

God birthed in Martin a dream. And with God's Spirit in him he initiated a movement. A movement that continues today.

All I know is that the more I learn about his heart, the more grateful I am that God led him and empowered him to love his neighbors. God is a just God. And there was...and still is...injustice in this world. I hope I can be an activist of peace in the ongoing movement. I'm a better man because of what he did. I hope that people can say that about me someday.

Here are some MLK quotes that captured me;

Almost always, the creative dedicated minority has made the world better.

I just want to do God's will. And he's allowed me to go to the mountain. And I've looked over, and I've seen the promised land! I may not get there with you, but I want you to know tonight that we as a people will get to the promised land.


Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend.

Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.




The time is always right to do what is right.

We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.


A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.

It's Not My Trying That Makes Me Alive.

I'm sure you've heard it said. I'm sure you've tried it. And if you're like me you've found out that it doesn't work that way. What is it? The idea that if you are not 'feeling God' or 'sensing His presence', then you need to 'pull up your bootstraps and try harder.' It cerainly isn't God's fault that you don't see Him, so logically, it's yours. We've been taught, maybe not with words, but by actions, that the extent of your 'knowing God' is in direct relation to the amount of time, energy, and strength you give to the relationship. It sounds good right? As though the destiny is in our control. The ball is in our court. It's like we think that God gives us yummy treats and blessings when we obediently perform little tricks. But sadly it's led many people away in disappointment, despair, and frustration. I think it's important to confess that if we are counting on our self and our efforts to connect us to God, we are doomed for failure. Not just some of the time. All the time.
I'm not suggesting that we just walk through our experience of trying to follow Jesus whimsically and randomly. That's as ridiculous as trying harder. I'm just leaning in on the notion of the way I always learned Phillippians 3:12-13; "press on toward the goal to take hold of the prize." I recently read a quote from a woman that said; "feeling the need to be perfect, but being certain that we are not ever going to get there can result in our playing the role happy Christian or Good Samaritan or Willing Worker or Gracious Benefactor, when in reality we are busy hiding sins of resentment, anger, doubt, and despair."
When I hear that I hear the ugly sound of religion. The joyless push to meet all the shoulds and oughts. I mean seriously, if we think the ultimate success of following Jesus is a matter of being sinless we negate what Jesus came do on our behalf - and further, it's a miserable place to be...a failure with no hope.
I think I've grown up missing Paul's point of Philippians 3.  I sense vs. 10 is the climax; "I want to know Christ." I liken it to my own relationship to Grace, Si, and Zalia. I wouldn't be satisfied if my kids were angelically perfect. Said the right things. Did the right things. Nor would I feel good if they felt like that was their focus to get my attention and affection. As though that would me my ultimate desire. Not at all! But inspite of their imperfections, to know that they just want to be with me and 'know me' as their crazy dad...that's what gets me excited and satisfied. It's awesome when my son wants to go get firewood with me, not because the work is fun or it's what he should do, but because if dad's going - he wants to be with me! So why can't I see that my Father in heaven wouldn't want the same thing?
I'm all about giving my life over to God. Not always practical and successful at it. But I can honestly that there is no greater desire within me than to know Him. I want the intimacy of knowing God and being known by Him. I know that my relationship is ongoing, ever perceiving, and deepening just by choosing to be with him.
And the more that examine the paths I take the more I realize the work of the Holy Spirit in me is the source of oneness I have with God. Not just how hard I try or how much I pray. It's the Spirit of God that draws my heart in rhythm with the Father. It's the Spirit of God in me that allows me to Christ - and the direction He's heading. It's the Spirit of God in me that allows me to hear the language of Christ. I know God because God...period. It's all about Him. I'm all for disciplines, but not for trying harder. The funny thing is, the harder I 'try' and rely on myself, the further I end up being from Him.
Isn't it crazy? The things I try to get, the Father has already given.

Transparent.

Have you ever struggled with the whole idea of God's gift of grace - and how it comes alongside our 'response' of receiving it? I'm aware that the gift is not fully enjoyed when I choose not to receive it, but that doesn't take away the giver's heart in their giving. It doesn't negate the fact that He gives - even if I say 'no'. It's similar to those who give with conditions. Here is a gift - but you have to use it for ______. Could it be that God is this kind of giver? I mean surely He wouldn't dare give a gift to a person who later in life would walk over it or abuse it...or not fully appreciate it? Would he? I guess I'm not here to answer the question, just to offer that it seems a little unsettling. Every time I see the gift of the Gospel, of grace, or of God's love, as 'valid' based on my response, there's something that doesn't feel right in me.
I know I'm not suggesting that there isn't a place for human response to God. That's "cheap grace." But the Gospel is not a bilateral contract where God meets his end of the deal and I must meet mine otherwise the contract is void. I wonder if the 'response' is really as simple as a sincere and grateful heart, attitude, and action, for a grace-gift given and received unconditionally in love? This much I know; my response is the all out thankful and grateful response to Jesus, who offers in my place the obedience and faith I need to be a son of God - a place that I cannot, in my sin, possibly offer.
Maybe this all seems like a play on words. But it means a lot to me as I envision my role in the Kingdom of God - and His call in my life. Ultimately my need is to view God more sovereign and Andy more dependent. I need to put my trust in God, not in Andy. I need to put my hope in God. It's gotta be more of Him and less of me! Why? My sanity, my joy, my significance in 'becoming the least of these' depends on it. And I want my life to be ALL about HIM.
My ministry? It's important that I decide now it's about Him. It can't be my job or pressure to create some dynamic sermon so that it's possible for Jesus to connect with the lives my path intersects with. Jesus alone is the Living Word of God and He's already the living sermon prior to any words I let come out of my mouth. My word's do not heal, bless, convict, or transform. God does. All my words do is bear witness to what God is saying to the people as the Word of God. My task is to be so intimate with God that I can see Him and hear Him - so that I can know where God is going so that I can be an accurate 'preparer of the Way.'
The good news is that God is still speaking to His people. I follow God, watch God, converse with God because I love God. The by-product is that more clearly share with people what the Lord is saying - where He is going - and lead with passion in His direction.
So all God is asking me to do is know Him - trust Him - and follow Him no matter where He goes? Yep. That's the greatest way for people to see Jesus. I'm training to be so 'in line' with Him - that as people see through me - they see the One worth seeing and following - for themselves.
I need to be so full of Jesus that I become...transparent.

What's Love Got To Do With It?

"For God so loved the world, that He gave..."

Have you ever noticed that some people who are not proclaimed 'Christ followers' seem to be more caring, respectful, and nice than many who are? That's never settled well with me. What does that mean? What does that say about our values and committment to the Way? First off I say that 'Christ followers' are not perfect. There are feelings, emotions, and actions that will never allow a perfect and accurate reflection of Christ in my life. I'm training every 'moment' to walk in a more pure and honest rhythm with God, but I confess I am not there yet. I also don't think God is surprised to hear that from me. God expects us to fail. He's never suprised. That's where Jesus enters the scene - and the reality of grace and unconditional love wrap themselves around my soul. Love? I think love is a significant place to sink into. And I think it's a place where my heart burns for people who have chosen to follow a path that does not lead to God. I am not interested in making 'converts' of people - I'm burdened that they inherit the capacity to be loved and to love without conditions or 'if' / 'then' contracts. That's not how the love of God works. And I meet people all the time who think that's the way it is. I meet people and have conversations with people who live in fear. But the Son of God has come to set us free - mainly from our fears in this world. God is for us! All of us! God says that there is no fear in love.

Love? This is what I want for every person. To know they are loved by God. No matter what. Even if they try their best for God to not like them, it can't be done. The love that the Father loves Jesus is the love with which followers of Christ share through their union with Him. This love is not something we can create on our own. It's too rich, too deep, too eternal, too spiritual. It only comes by abiding in Christ (John 15:1-11). It's a love that cannot be welled up with human ability. This love I have for you - for all people - is only and entirely the fruit of being loved by God - and walking momently in a relationship with Christ.

"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you, abide in my love." ~ Jesus

Redemptive Ministry?

I meditate tonight on what it means to 'minister' and what 'ministry' really is. Certainly it isn't a going out to people so that I can 'take' Jesus to them. He's already there! The Spirit of God is present and actively engaging. So maybe it's the actuality and reality that Jesus is here and active that gives me a 'ministry'. The more I lean in, the more it becomes clear to me that it's the Holy Spirit's mediation and presence that makes my 'ministry' possible. It's God. Not Andy. My role is to make aware the presence of God - to identify Him and to be a witness of who Jesus is. It's to act and react with the heart of God - and the truth of his unconditional love and everlasting life.
I came across this quote today; "Pastoral work must give the highest priority to the kerygmatic affirmation "you are forgiven." The whole movement of the gospel moves in this direction. It also must help people identify grace in their lives in its specificity as forgiveness of sins and equip them to be faithful in the thankful response of Christian discipleship through their communion with God."
I like that. I think it brings me back to affirming that God is everything. It also frees me of all the hats that a 'minister' is supposed to wear.
Someone once said; "My ministry is not redemptive. Only Christ's ministry is redemptive." It is by the Spirit that we are joined to it.
As I join the movement of God I walk as a man who responds in faith, repentance, and obedience because of the love of Christ - not the condition to recieve it.
And I'm convinced that what is true for me is true of everyone I meet. And I don't take God there - He's already there.
Ministry is for everyone - and it's exciting stuff...momentum.

Grasping With All My Might.

If anything of significance and life change is going to happen, Jesus is the one who has to show up. Maybe it's within me...but in one way or another, the presence of Jesus must consume or nothing changes. That's the reason why I give myself over to following Jesus. I want to be a part of change - in me, around me, and through me. And I know it can't happen without the initiation and invitation of Jesus.

So what else does this mean? I think it means I need to realize that "ministries" in and of themselves are not redemptive. Only the ministry of Jesus is redemptive. Only Jesus. Period. Many may suggest that this is a cop out to 'ministering.' But I think it's the opposite. I'm suggesting that God in me - is the source of hope that people need...so in all things I need to give myself over to being saturated with Jesus.
As I meditate tonight on my 'ministry' and the upcoming role God has invited me to play in humanity, I think God wants me to see it as sharing...or coming alongside...Jesus' ministry. Wherever He is - there is the church!
This new year allows me another moment to look unto the 'new.' I've mentioned before that Greg Lee was right - the Scriptures lay overwhelming evidence that God is in the 'New.' He loves 'new!' So I see my resolution for this year a mere continuing of God's revolution in me. My ministry is singular in practice - to live in the presence of Jesus. I train (not try) myself to be in a place to have eyes to see Jesus...and ears to hear him. I simply want to move where God is moving and doing what God is already doing. I want to be watchful for what God is up to so that I can be hot on his heals.
I guess it's nothing more than being like my one year old daughter. Everywhere I go there she is. She does the same thing with her mommy. She loves to stand on our feet and grasp our legs with all her might. She's along for the ride. She doesn't want to miss anything. And the closer she is to our presence, the more at peace and alive with joy she is.
That's how I want to be with my Father...my perfect Heavenly Daddy.
He's moving and I don't want to miss anything.

Marriage.

Most enter into it. Most feel the beauty of it. Some experience the hurt of it at some point. Everyone has to put energy into it to keep it alive. The size of my library of Relationship books proves that there is much to be said on the subject of healthy marriages. The reality is, most couples will journey to, or through, some form of 'loss'. Whether it's outward betrayal or an inward seperation. I came across this paragraph in a book that wasn't even about marriage, but I totally agree with what he says. I know many marriages that are 'together' - but certainly far apart. This is just something to wrestle with - and to examine your own heart for the energy YOU into your marriage...
"Another form of widowhood is being married to a distant, untrustworthy spouse. There are many who sleep each night with a living corpse who will rise the next morning, brush his or her teeth, expect breakfast, adn complain about the day ahead. It is onerous to imaging waking up next to a person whom you don't love and whom you know doesn't love you. This is living-death widowhood. Sadly, many marriages die while both spouses are still breathing. In most cases, in order to survive such emptiness, many give up their own drama, turn themselves over to watching other people's lives (TV, sports, church, romance novels) and slip away into a vicarious fantasy life."
You would probably agree this is tragic. And my hope is that it makes you lean in on your own heart and soul and consider how much energy you give to the one whom God authored into your story - to be one with - forever.
I dream of a community that upholds one another - breathes life into each other...and become part of each other's stories in a powerful way. I trust there is greater beauty when people walk together.

Our Past Serves Our Future?

The storybook of my life. I can imagine someday my great great grandchild sitting on their dad's lap, all cuddled up by the fire, as he reads them the story of my life. What will it say? What picture will it paint as he reads through my journals? How will my story reveal the hero that God has put within me? Will my story be bigger than me? Will the characters in my story love me? Will it begin something that God continues to use to change the world?

Greg Lee said; "The tragic parts of our past should serve our present and future."
I love that. And as Rachel and I, along with some others seek Christ and pray to discern how to 'cast the vision' of our journey, we have conversation around our 'story'. What's in a story? Characters. Plots. Antagonists. Hero's. Tragedy. Victory. Some of our story is comedy, some is tragedy, some is amazing, some is kind-of boring. I'd like to suggest that we are not just a random story, we ARE a story.
Tonight I continue to meditate on God and His word - and thoughts about articulating how valuable a person's story is in the big picture of life.

Here are some further thoughts of Dan Allender seasoned with some of my own thoughts along the way. Hope they help you embrace your story - and consider how God is in it.

I can do the utterly impossible because the presence of eternity beats inside me. It is eternity - and the longing for the presence of God - that fuels my passion. All passion is founded on pain, grown through risk, and marked by the decisions we make in the face of tragedy. It is in the midst of tragedies, both past and present, that we will see how the waters of suffering have cut our terrain and formed the contours of our character. More than anything, tragedy shapes our identity and character.

God orchestrates all of the influences in our life to blend a symphony of themes that reflects his purposes.

Perhaps the reason we don't party well is because we don't know what to do with the tragedies that linger on in our life. To see His glory we must enter into and read our tragedies with confidence that they will end better than we could ever imagine. In the midst of affliction we become either our truest or most false self. We wrongly believe that we will be happy if we can escape the past. But without the past we are hollow plastic beings with common names and conventional stories.

Every life is a story with a unique meaning. We don't just have stories, we are a story. God writes our story so that we will enlighten others and reveal his own story through our story.

Our stories are not to be read and written merely for our own benefit. My story is your story and all our stories are for God. Therefore, I am to read, write, edit, tell, and celebrate your story as much as my own. Thats is multiplication of story.

We can love our past- even the parts we avoid or regret- only if we understand that our story is written for the benefit of others' stories in the future. We can only truly love our life when we see our story birth new and more glorious stories.

We are called to see the past as given and the future as unmade and aching to be written.

Capturing The Moments...

So What's Your Story?

If fingerprints are unique and diverse, how much more then are our stories? Immeasurable. I began immersing myself into another book written by a guy (Dan Allender) whom God has formerly used to help me see past myself - both accomplishments and especially the failures. It has been a long struggle to truly see myself as God sees me (or at least trust that in some measure He sees beauty in me). I've never been a proponent of cheap grace and in many ways it seemed easier and more logical to just sit there. Not any more. It's time for some new chapters. Some fun chapters filled with risk and adventure...even mixed in with some good ol' fashioned stupidity (not to be confused with foolishness). Without it we probably don't ever see the things we were meant to see. I think that stupidity to man can be 'life' to God. Anyway, I'm sold out on my belief that God allows us to be a co-author of our story. In many ways we get to choose the course of our story. He allows us to dream...have burdens...and move in those directions. Ultimately, I want my story to reveal the glory of God - his mercy, compassion, love, and grace. I also think it's important to remember that our story is not a bunch of random events that have no value or purpose. As though I'm here and now only because of a series of events that happened without any supernatural forethought. No one has a story like mine. God doesn't want me to rip out dark and old pages of my story and only use the seemingly triumphant ones. The old and new are both vital in my story. Your story. Our story.
So where am I going with all this? God is speaking with one voice into Rachel and I, along with some fellow travelers, that this reality of 'story' will in many ways fashion the ways we move in the future. It's the beauty of EVERYone's story that we will celebrate. It will be the 'measuring stick' of success in our community. How are we freeing people to embrace their story - and see the ways that God is joining their hand in penning the next chapter of their life. My life. Our life. We are burdened. And we have decided that we must do something about it.

Back to the book; To Be Told, here are some quotes to let rattle around in your spirit;

"God is not merely the creator of Life, He's the author of life."

"Even when tragedy has nothing to do with physical death, it still involves a form of death in the shattering of Shalom, or harmony. Life involves tension. Tension is living in the gap between certainty and uncertainty. We always begin with what we know and are irrisistibly drawn to what we don't know...curious. There are no safe risks."

"Adversity introduces us to ourselves."

"I can't change my tragedies, not can I really eliminate (fully) the characters in my story, but I can write a new plot. I am both co-author of my life and editor of my future."

"Their (most Christians) assumption is simple: if I live a good life, love my kids, do my best at work, support the PTA and the church and my kids' sports, then my life will have been good. But is this a good ending as God views endings? It's not a bad ending, but it misses what any truly good ending requires- the ardor and the sacrifice, the passion and the blood."

"What makes my life a glorious bestseller is taht my plot reveals not a mere moral or lesson but the very person and being of God."

"Lives that are "normal" and predictable don't hold our attention. It is only when huge obstacles arise that a story becomes compelling."

"Good stories tell about the intersection of desire (subjective expectation) and tragedy (cruel reality)."

"Stories don't give answers, but they do offer perspective."

"The story we are to live and write doesn't truly begin until we face what we have lost and then turn to see the horizon of uncertainty ahead. Our story will gain momentum and depth only to the degree that we honestly embrace both loss and fear."

"A dream without suffering is little more than fantasy. Risk involves bleeding."

Innovation Lab Bound...

I'm really excited about an invitation to be a part of this experience with Greg, Doug, and Jared - the Suncrest Crew. January 19-20 - Dallas Texas. What an opportunity! I have a feeling Rachel and I are taking some huge steps toward the ride of our lives.

It begins with an on-site 24 hour lab experience designed to take your team from where you are to where you need to go. Your team will look honestly at what’s not working and why, explore roadblocks and develop both radical and incremental process plans to move your team to success.

From our physical meeting space to our facilitation methods, you’ll be taken out of the ordinary workshop experience to an unexpected discovery based approach. Be prepared to move and create, stretch and explore. You’ll release your creativity by manipulating objects and transitioning to different discovery and learning stations. Using the latest in innovative thinking processes and the most talented facilitators, we’ll transport you from sitting and soaking to moving and doing.

Additionally, your team will participate in two online lab days in your own offices spaced six and twelve months out from the initial gathering. Our expert facilitator will connect you via live video with other teams, using a state of the art video conferencing platform, where you’ll have the chance to share team updates, celebrate success and identify your sticking points and areas for improvement. The final online lab day will focus on implementation updates and unique exercises in sustaining forward movement, innovation and assessment.

Movement...

Interesting. The term 'Christian' is used 3 times in the Bible. 'Disciple' is used 250+ times! In the four gospels the greek word translated 'to follow' is used 61 times. I'm convinced that I'm not alone in that I'd rather be known as a Christ-follower than as an adherant and follower of the Christian religion. I'm even more convinced that the whole 'Jesus deal' is not meant to be about an institution of Religion, rather a movement. Jesus began a revolution - by movement. I wonder what went wrong? Why do we measure our lives by what we have instead of where we are going? I want to 'move' in the direction of Jesus. I want my life's rhythm to be a movement of following Jesus. So what is our measuring stick? I have been thinking a lot about that. I think it's about my story. I think it's about what Jesus is doing in me right now. I think it's about what Jesus is doing around me right now. And then the often times difficult part, because of my stinking flesh, is to actually go where He's at...so that I might move where He's going.
I also wonder about the idea of 'making disciples.' Maybe a better way to think of it is 'forming disciples.' For me, that is a beautiful picture. Of God, in His strong and weathered hands forming me...in spite of my malfunctions and impurities...He somehow has the grace, mercy, and power to make all things new.
If we want to get literal, we'd see that when God said for us to 'make disciples' he literally said...'as you are going (movement) make disciples. All this to say that our lives are transformed and we ultimately transform others...as we are moving and following Jesus.
I land on this truth. If I am going to follow Jesus, I will be shocked at where I may end up going. I am learning more than ever that God's movement is often unpredictable, radical, and crazy. It requires a lot of trust. And that is exactly where movements happen. I'm all in. And yes, I know I too am crazy. So is my wife for dreaming and trusting with me. So are my kids. We are unpredictable. I don't even know the big picture. But we see Jesus 'moving' and we are following. Here we go.

Adding Layers.

Spiritual practices are about the momently life. They are the ways I actively become the person who has "eyes to see and ears to hear." This life is about experiential living with increased resiliency and consistency. It is the difference between living in 'survival mode' and 'thriving mode.' The momently life of Christ living in me is in essence staying awake to God. Many become awake to God, but the art of momenlty living is in abiding awakeness.
It's easier to say than to live. But, the rhythm of engaging with Christ momently is the life worth pursuing. The great discovery that I didn't assume I'd find is that routines, normalcy, ordinariness, and habits are essential in this way of life. It seems contradictory...as though following Jesus closely would rid us of any of these ways. It was when I paralleled them to God's perfect created design of breathing, eating, sleeping, drinking...that I realized a certain structure is healthy to the spiritual life.
I confess that I have begun (it's a poor rendition I'll admit) yoga. Don't laugh. Because of my back pains I've had to come to grips with reality. I am about as stiff as an old board. Maybe stretching to the physical body is like my need for disciplines for my spiritual soul.
So what does all this mean? When Jesus came he ushered in a 'new' Kingdom of God...which means a 'new' way of life...new priorities, commitments, vision, and peace.
I'll unpack my thoughts on this further in my next post. I still wrestle how to understand it myself.

A Grey Story

The Kingdom of God. I am a part of it. So are you. It's not a place. It's here and it's now and every breath, every heart rhythm I'm living in an awareness of God in me and the world around me. And yet even in that beautiful and glorious filled movement - I still have the capacity to act selfishly.
So my story? It seems that with every chapter of tragedy there emerges the opportunity for a chapter of significance. Or maybe they are in the same chapter. Maybe my chapters are really the summation of every part of my life - elements I choose and the ones chosen for me. The particles I can see and remember along with the ones that are unseen or forgotten. I guess that's the beauty of my life. It really is about what God is doing in me, alongside me.
I weave my story with some more elements of Donald Miller's thoughts...
*Every conflict, no matter how hard, comes back to bless the protagonist if he will face his fate with courage. There is no conflict a man will endure that will not produce a blessing.
*When you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are...when you stop expecting God to end all your troubles, you'd be surprised how much you like spending time with God.
*It wasn't necessary to win for the story to be great, it was only necessary to sacrifice everything.
*Great stories go to those who don't give in to fear.

This all takes me back to Rachel and I's sessions in Colorado with dear friend John Walker. A story is not scripted for us. And I believe he was right when we suggested life is more grey than black and white. That scares a lot of good Christian people. It kind of sounds like heresy. Oh well. It's not heresy. So I will concur that it is better for people to embrace and live in Christ in this grey Kingdom of God. All I know is that I am completely in love with my indescribable God, my beautiful Rachel, my amazing kids, my family, my friends, and pretty much in love with the strangers around me...and by God's grace I even usually love (at least some of the time) those who don't like me. Then there's ultimately the love and grace of God - and being adopted as his children. That's black and white. But everything in between is pretty grey. The way all that love unravels through me is where the black fades and the white darkens.
I think when it comes to story, we try to take everything happening in and around us...including the thoughts and actions of others...and try to judge them all in a nice package of black and white. I have to confess that God's thoughts aren't my thoughts and His ways not my ways. It doesn't work. It can't work.
I think God finds beauty in the grey.
It's all about our story...and how it collides with His...uniquely ours.

Donald Miller - Creating our story

In the chaos of life it's rare that I pick up a book and get so engrossed in it that I roll through it in mere few hours. But I did today. Ironically, one of the only other times was by this same author; Donald Miller. Two weeks ago I had the chance to hear him in person in Chicago as he reflected on his pursuit of 'life as a story.' His latest life story is called "A Million Miles in A Thousand Years." Our life really is a story. I don't want my story to be written for me. I don't want to get to the end of my life and realize I wrote a rather dull and dry story for my life. But tragically, as I sit here on my 34th birthday, I realize not all of my life has been leveraged for the sake of others - or a sense of fully living. How do I know that? Well, it's amazing how many random events add up to fill the memories I have of my life.
Anyway, here are some highlights that Don initiates - and concepts God has stirred emotionally in me when I read them. I'd recommend if you have a pulse and you care about your destiny...that you read this journey.
*Nobody remembers easy stories. Characters have to face their greatest fears with courage. That's what makes a story good. If you think about the stories you like, there's probably lots of conflict. There is probably death at stake, inner death or actual death...These polar charges, these happy and sad things in life, are like colors God uses to draw the world.
*Most of our greatest fears are relational. It's all that stuff about forgiveness and risking rejection and learning to love.
*The great stories go to those who don't give in to fear. Fear isn't only a guide to keep us safe; it's also a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.
*(I wonder) if the reasons our lives seem so muddled is because we keep walking into scenes in which we, along with the people around us, have no clear idea what we want.
*Every creative person faces resistance when trying to create something good. Resistance, a kind of feeling that comes when you point toward a distant horizon, is a sure sighn that you are supposed to do the thing in the first place. The harder the resistance, the more important the task must be.
*People love to have lived a great story, but few people like the work it takes to make it happen. But joy costs pain.
*(God speaking through the beauty of his natural creation) Enjoy your place in my story. The beauty of it means you matter, and you can create within it even as I have created you.

Glory in our mess.

The weekly worship experience...sometimes we leave informed. Other times we leave inspired. Maybe there are times we leave with a plan for change. On Sunday I left with a mixture of each of these ingredients. The reality is that as Doug verbalized scripture and concepts, the Holy Spirit was breathing strength and encouragement in me. The question I have to ask myself is; “Do you really trust God Andy? I mean really trust him? Or do you give your energy over to ‘helping’ God out?

It’s a great question. Am I in control of my own destiny? Because if I am, I’ve made a pretty pathetic run at it. I mean if my life’s worth is fueled with the ‘good’ I’ve done, I’m not sure it provides any good content for someone to say at my funeral. The heartbeat, or to put it the Suncrest way – Big Idea, is that God is involved in us. The battle is His. And the good news is that our ‘limp’ or ‘handicap’ (that we pray for God to take away) is the very thing that keeps us attached to a dependence on God. It is the thing that allows us to keep Christ at the center, and the thing that gives people the ability to understand, empathize, and relate to. The thing that should most disqualify us from making an impact on humanity is the thing that God uses to bring good. Another example of the upside down Kingdom of God.

Doug used a powerful video illustration to drive this point to the center our souls. Lonely, lost, hurting, desperate, desolate, malnourished, decrepit people who pray for ‘healing’ in some capacity…and yet God remains silent. God is not distant, he just seemingly resists that prayer. As the story unfolds we begin to see the light switched on inside them…and they worship knowing that God has a purpose to our weakness and frailty.

Doug used the story of a guy with a funny, long, and hard to spell name. So why Jehoshaphat? Here’s a brief summary; He’s a King commissioned by God to engage the battle God’s way – not his own way. God’s way always sounds insane. His confession; “For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you (God)." His response; "Give thanks to the LORD, for his steadfast love endures forever.” (Doug even sang this for us…you would have had to been there!)God’s victory; “And when they began to sing and praise, the LORD set an ambush against the men of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come against Judah, so that they were routed. For the men of Ammon and Moab rose against the inhabitants of Mount Seir, devoting them to destruction, and when they had made an end of the inhabitants of Seir, they all helped to destroy one another. (Kaser’s paraphrase – the victors worshipped and put their trust in God and they did not use one of their manmade weapons to defeat the enemy…the enemy destroyed itself. God has a knack for using the low to humble the strong).

So what’s this all mean for us? It’s not about us. It’s about God. And what is impossible with man is possible with God.

“God’s strength is made perfect in our weakness.”

And that is a promise that makes me dance with gratitude and peace.

Growing Smaller? Exponential Movement.

I had one of these gadgets. The Little Professor was introduced in 1976. I wonder if 'churches' have for too long only concerned themselves with growth by addition. I wonder if it's possible God meant for the 'Church' to live 'Bigger' through multiplication. I think it's funny. Or maybe it's more sad? Maybe it's both. Big churches probably struggle with a superiority complex. But worse yet are small churches that despise 'big' churches. I'd call it jealousy. There's a hint of ungodliness as smaller churches degrade the large church down the street all the while putting their entire energy on the goal of 'getting big' themself. Ironic? I'll let you answer that. But can you imagine a church prayerfully considering a capital campaign for the purpose of multiplying campuses? Can you imagine a growing church deciding not to build a bigger building on their large parcels of land? Can you imagine a decision not to add more spaces so there can be more programs going on? I can. And I'm living in the DNA of one. I love it. And I love them for going against the flow and following the Spirit of God's movement. A group of people abandoning attraction and absorption and pursuing a movement. Abandoning the notion of 'my church' for the Jesus way of 'His Kingdom.' We can wait and hope they come or we can move in and live amoung them and with them. I'd say 'big' isn't God's measure of success, but certainly growth is. Health is. Churches can track worship attendance, but maybe we really need to figure out how to track how many marriages are healthier and growing in our community. We can track how many programs people come to, but maybe we need to figure out a way to track how well we are serving our neighbor. Maybe we need to track how much time we spend in community events compared to church events?
I guess I'm just saying I'm honored and blessed to walk with people who 'get it.' God himself designed us to birth new 'living' beings...they grow and mature...and eventually reproduce. The goal of an organism is not to get big and fat, but to stay healthy, lean, and full of life and movement. To live in such a way that we give ourselves away to others for the purpose of revealing the glory of Christ.
Reproduction makes sense in every arena of life. So shall it be with the church.
Exponential multiplication...it's a movement I want to be a part of. I sense it's where God is taking His Church (people). Lord let Your 'Kingdom' come.

Watching. Walking. Worshipping.

The momently life. I'm officially a little over a year into this pilgrimage and it really is amazing. I've come so far, and yet there is still so much landscape yet to cover. It is becoming more rhythmic. One of the greatest affirmations I've recieved happened a few weeks ago when Greg Lee - a dear brother, friend, and mentor - said; "you seem to pursue a constant awareness of God." He's right. That's where I'm at. I'm constantly looking for Him. Watching Him. Listening for Him. I don't always hear, or see, or feel Him. But these seasons leave me being quite raw with God - crying, inwardly yelling, confessing, and even a little bit of begging. All this to say I'm leaning forward. I don't know where I'll land or when, but I know God is with my family. And I trust that He's purposeful in our 'waiting.' Learning to see God and hear his voice is the real purpose of my prayer life. I genuinely am trying not to plead that God gives me my purposes. Instead, I'm striving to give Him my attention to what He is doing around me and in me. I'm just asking God to show me what He sees and what He's doing. He seems to running our life's dreams parallel with Suncrest's dreams and that is some exciting and humbling stuff. So we walk. We pray. And I'm not sure what your definition of a miracle is, but it's my hope and prayer that I align myself with obedience and perseverance...and I'm praying for a miracle. This dream will require God to interupt the normal rhythm of not only our life, but the lives of others who may walk in oneness with us. Miracles? I believe in them. And I'm praying for one. So now I walk. I pray. I watch. I worship. I seek to momently live Colossians 4:2.
So the Suncrest team is always leaning in 'next steps'. Mine this week is to carve out three 30 minute sections of time to sit and listen. My prayer? To see what God sees. I have a hunch I will see people differently. And I have a hunch I'll have an urgency and greater capacity to ask God to take me where He's going.

"Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving."

Multi Site...I'm leaning In.

A few months ago I went with some Suncrest staff to exponentialconference.org in Orlando Florida. This was a pre-conference dinner session with Alan Hirsch and Ed Stetzer. Great stuff on the multi-site movement and what truly matters. Good stuff!

Tremors.

You know that feeling of anticipation when you know the sunrise is about to crest the horizon? Or how about when your child is born and you get to hold them for the first time?
I feel kind of like that right now. Just getting home from engaging with 6 other men I could sense genuinely care about me and who lean in on Jesus every day of their life. I don't know how our paths will cross in the future, but for that hour and a half I sincerely feel like Christ's presence saturated us.
Anyway, here I am. As I drove home I was overcome with emotion. It was like I was a treasure hunter who had been searching for 6 years for a treasure he was convinced was hidden beneath him. Every day digging, picking, and scraping away the soil to discover the lost treasure. Most days finding nothing at all. A handful of days finding such little pieces that most would consider non proving points, but to me they were enough to keep me searching. And then after so many years you yourself are ready to take your last shovel, convinced yourself that maybe there really is no treasure after all. Maybe you misread the map? Perhaps this was just some morbid game of the mind after all. All that it is in you drives you to keep hope alive. It is like 'willing' yourself to hope. It is that unexplainable burn inside us that beckons we continue. That conviction and whisper inside our soul that keeps us waking up and pursuing the prize.
The past couple of days I have sensed God unearthing some things before me. Things I had long forgotten I had once prayed for or pursued so specifically. I started to see cracks in some past opportunities that I passed up but have since regretting I had. It's like I look back and see that God was with me. In me. Around me. They have been hard to see clearly...like cloud formations that our imagination creates shapes out of. To others its insanity, but not to me...I see it! There has been some intense times of praying and fasting. Thousands of miles of conversation between Rachel and God on my behalf. Some overtime searching. Some raw conversations with Jon, Doug, and Greg. And for some reason an enhanced hope and belief that the treasure still remains beneath me.
Tonight as I drove my mind started replaying some of the prayers. Some of the shovels. Some of the fragments unearthed in days past that kept me digging even though they were hardly evidence of any treasure or purpose.
I am getting excited. God is moving. I am convinced that as I have surrendered to the truth that it's all about Jesus - and have sought Him as the only treasure, that I know have eyes able to see the 'other things added unto me.'
I know now that treasure of great price has been found. In fact He found me. It's a cruel game of hide and seek. I sought to be found.
But there's more. It's beginning to shake. I don't know what is emerging beneath me for my family and I. But I do know that God is the source of the quake. And I am liking what I am seeing. It's bigger than anything I could 'ever ask or imagine' (Eph. 3:20). Ironically that is our family verse for 2009. He's not finished with me yet. And I can feel the birthing pains of something God is forming within me. I sense it is going to be a journey that will capture my heart for the rest of my days. So now I pray for rhythm. I'm going to need it in my pursuit of Jesus and my family. I sense God is shoring up the relationships that will emerge for His movement within all of us.
I lift my heart in praise to the maker of heaven and earth. I adore Him. And see with each new shovel that He whispers 'I am with you.' And that's all I need to hear to keep shoveling...one scoop at a time. For such a time as this.

Childlike Faith...

I was privileged to ride my bike alongside Rachel this morning as she ran. Out the door at 5:30 am...darker than the ace of spades...and dodging vehicles in the night. All I can really explain is that God was there. He is here. He consumed that exercise session with conversation between my heart and my brides. In the darkness and heavy fog the stillness and silence was almost deafening. I don't even remember pedaling to be honest. I do remember as we approached our home that I said; 'I wish this experience was not ending'. It was as though her heart was feeding mine...like they were beating as one with no distractions, space, or time between us. She is so wise. So discerning. I think I understand now the significance of her run. She spends it with Jesus. Verbal conversations of the echos of her heart and I got to listen in today.
At one point she was telling me of a conversation she had with Grace the other day. Grace told her they were asked in Sunday school 'if you could ask Jesus one thing, what would it be?' I'd bet there were sunday school questions that would make the theologians proud. Questions like; 'Why is there suffering?', 'Why do some people not believe in God?', or 'Where is Peter?' But Grace said she asked a question and the others looked at her with a sense of 'that is such a dumb question.' Rachel and I loved her question. I think it gets at the heart of the relationship we should have with Jesus. What was the question? 'Jesus, what's your favorite food?' She told Rachel she felt bad because everyone was saying 'God doesn't care about meaningless things like food and besides we don't eat in heaven anyway.' Hmmm. Guess I missed that part in the Bible. But at the very least, Jesus walked on planet earth for 33 years. I bet he had a favorite food. Perhaps this all sounds 'ramblish', but for me it says that her heart is concerned about the simple and sincere relationship with can have with Jesus. He is our King. Yes. He is our Savior. Yes. And He's also our friend. I wonder if Jesus is more excited when we ask Him what His favorite food is more than he is about (as Rachel pointed out) 'what did you write in the sand in front of the woman caught in adultry?'
All I know is I'm proud of her. I think it was a great question. I think it's a question you ask someone you love and talk to often. I'm proud of her. And I want her childlike faith and sincere desire to be in Jesus' presence every moment. May Jesus find my heart curious for Him.

More Wrestling...and Worshipping.

The premise of the book I wrote about yesterday is that rabbits reproduce faster than elephants. How's that for some sex education! Rabbits are simple. Elephants complex. In church talk, it takes more resources, time, energy, you name it - to reproduce a 'big' model. A mega-church is visible and takes a huge amount of money and resources to reproduce. Not with simple churches. "A plague of rabbit churches could transform a nation." It's at the very least something worth considering. Maybe I'm missing the author's intention, but I'm sensing that the above picture is their premise; Rabbits in the hand of the Creator.

Interesting. I don't have cable so you can imgagine my excitement that the Bears were to be on 'regular' t.v. tonight. I only get about 5 stations, and NBC is always the full signal station. Not tonight. This is the first time I have not gotten the station. All this to say, I guess God wanted me to have conversation with Him with Rachel and to continue my journey through The Rabbit and the Elephant. This is good stuff! It's good tonight because Tony has me wrestling with God through Luke 10. It's increasing my hunger for God and for His passion for lost people. Most of you know Rachel and my prayer and that our journey is passionate about what Greg Lee terms 'the New'. "God is always in the new." I am challenged by the sub-heading 'Trust God to provide the strategy and the workers.' Here is the reality. Rachel and I just prayed about this very thing exactly about 30 minutes ago! God's Spirit in me is whispering to my spirit in this moment...'Kaser. All I need is a yes from you. You say yes, and I promise you I will provide the rest. You can trust me. You put your energy on the 'yes, Lord, we will' and you will begin immediately to see what I have been at work doing in You and in others. So what will it be Andy? Do you trust me?' There He goes again...answering my questions with questions!
Tony puts in this line...and it's a promise that aligns with the character of God; "If Jesus sends you somewhere, you can have confidence that He will accompany you." God will provide the resources. He will lead us to the hurting because He is most concerned about their need. The sick. That's where God's pursuing. I want to join Him.
So here's the deal God. I'm in. The answer is yes. Rachel and I are in. Our kids are in. I'll end with that tonight. As soon as the words exit my mind as a yes, surely the enemy seeks to grab it, add fear, throw some pinches of inadaquacy in, and push that yes right back inside me. So Lord, in your strength help me say yes...momently. To seek you momently. To worship you momently. So as that song says, Lord I will worship while I'm waiting.
If you are a reader of this blog, please join me in prayerfully reading and re-reading Luke 10. Surely this reality of 'harvest' is deeply in the heart of Christ. What if God asks you what He's asking me? All I know for us is 'yes.' But that is a hard three letter word to say. There's a lot in that little word. It's hard to say. It's even harder to keep.
Yes.
And I will worship while I'm waiting.

The Rabbit and the Elephant.

I was fumbling through this new book that Doug Gamble had on his desk, hoping he'd get the hint to offer it to me for borrowing. And He did! It has taken until last night to get to some content that excited me. I do not normally give a book past the first two chapters, but some reason I did, and God has really pulled out some things and challenged my thinking. I wrestled last night heavily using my evernote account. Here are some of the books reflections and my thoughts. Ultimately I am hungry for Christ and seeking to be more intentional in seeing God's movement and the Holy Spirit's promptings. I'm a year into this path and I'm just blown away by how much more God I see and hear in my every day life. I'm in love with Jesus and this momently life with Him. So with this foundation, I can't help but keep dreaming of community. It's like I can picture the scene in my mind.
"Imagine a people with their hearts on fire and a church that consistently seeks God's face, learns his will, and then obeys it.
We cannot expect a movement of God to come easily. We need people to 'pray' the price."
'Andy'; I can hear Him say...'Why wouldn't God call you to pray more? To talk to him more? Why not 3 hours a day in prayer. Is that a waste of time? Why not pray with your team for 3 hours a day? Too unproductive? Why not spend one day per week in fasting and prayer? Why not ask your team to do the same with you? Why not become a fluid team who trusts in the movement of God and His promise to draw people to Himself and initiate transformation?'
A.T. Pierson; "From the day of pentecost, there has been not one great spiritual awakening in any land which has not begun in a union of prayer, though only among two or three. And no such outward, upward movement has continued after such prayer meetings have declined."
So am I willing to pay the price for an ongoing and sustained move of God?
"Our time is never boring or insignificant when it's led by the Holy Spirit.
Non-religious Christianity. It's the kind of spirituality that cannot be contained in a box or placed on an agenda. It cannot be programmed or reduced to a curriculum. Wolfgang Simson; "Programs are what the church resorts to when the H.Spirit leaves."
There really is a lot self reflection here. Maybe the challenge for those of us who have been following for a long time is being able to peel off all the layers of religion that have wrapped themselves so tightly around our hearts. "There should never be enough structure that the church can survive without the presence of God." I'm scared. I'm scared that we have put fences around our ability of 'experiencing God'. I think we need to make space for God's Spirit to move in us. Again I sense God asking me; "Andy, what if?"
God's answers most commonly come to me in the form of a question.
I love God. I love how He loves me. And I love how He invites me to consider 'what if?'

Greatness.

"Lets not confuse what it means to be great with what it means to be famous. i think to be famous is what you do for yourself and greatness is what you do for others." Erwin McManus

Rachel and I have had some great conversations this week. With each other. With Greg Lee and Doug Gamble. With Josh and Amy Walker. Family. Friends. And with God. It seems that God is creating a monumental chapter in our lives...one of those early chapters that ultimately determines the conclusion of a life story. This week some amazing thoughts came from some people we have tremendous love and respect for. I know prayer is not a magic button, but for us it's a matter of exercising a discipline of obedience. It's trusting that God longs for us to include Him, invite Him, and beckon Him. He is the sovereign One. There is power in our prayers - our words and groans rush the heart of God and there is evidence that persistence really does go noticed and appreciated by God. The other obvious thing - obvious now that I've actually journaled and am watchful of it - is that when you pray specifics it's easier to see God's answers. They become more clear instead of giving us the chance to wonder if it was Him or chance. When we pray specifically for wisdom, clarity, and discernment - and He answers us, it's not a coincidence. Ever. It's God's kindess.
The truth is, we pray so that we can draw near to Christ. We pray so that we can hear what God is wanting to speak into our souls. We pray so that we can see humanity through God's eyes. Our prayers are really for one purpose - to know Christ. If my prayers are for anything other than knowing Him more intimately - it's about me instead of about Him.
I love the above quote. And it is with great pleasure that Rachel and I pray our family would be about greatness. That's where our hearts beat. How can we most effect the lives that interact and engage around us? How could God best use us to reflect the loving, graceful, powerful, and eternal Jesus?
I know that whatever the answer is, it begins with Christ IN me. The 'whatever Christ does through me' is the overflow of what Christ does IN me.
May my life sacrifice all things for the sake of others.
So let it be.